To All Knitters and Crocheters,

I've posted an e-mail below that I received from Sharon, who's in charge of collecting hand-made items for U.S. Troops serving overseas. 

I'm including her e-mail address if you have any more questions, but the bottom line is we have until DECEMBER 30TH to make a scarf, bandana cool-tie, or even a hand-made card. If you are going to make a scarf, Operation Gratitude asks the colors be "tan, brown, desert camouflage or other neutral colored cotton.  No American flag fabric please."

Yarn should be on sale now-so...I'll see you at Joanne's or Michael's!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxo, Martha

From: Sharon Howard
Subject: December Knitters Newsletter
Date: Dec 22, 2007 6:06 PM

Hello Knitters and Crocheters!

Well, we’ve loaded up thousands of care packages in the past few weeks and I’ve placed a hand-made item in as many of them as possible. We have one more weekend to go and I have a feeling it’s going to be a very busy one, as many of you are waiting until the last minute to get your items to me! Bring ‘em on--the more the merrier! Your efforts do not go unappreciated, as you will see below. The troops are very thankful for you, as we all are at Operation Gratitude!

I would like to express my gratitude for the box from the Operation Gratitude program. I received a box with a very large card and a hand made scarf from Mrs. Helen---I will use it Ma’am, it does get cold in the desert. It is overwhelming to know that these wonderful people who we do not know or may not ever meet in this lifetime took the time to do something for us. It is a big deal and we are all very appreciative for the things you all do for us while we are deployed. Thank you very much and we at the 1st Armored Division hope that the time you spend with your family during the holidays are blessed. It is good to know that we and the Veterans are not forgotten.
SFC Cobb, Courtney

Thank you so much for everything, especially the scarf. Have a happy holidays and God Bless you and your loved ones.
"Phantom Warriors!"
AYAKO AMANDA SATO, CPT, SC

We received an operation gratitude package today with a home-made hat it in and your email addy. Thanks so much! We are grateful and very appreciative of all that is being done for us while we are away.
Much thanks,
SSG Aimee Robeson

I just wanted to say Thank you for the scarf that you made for Operation Gratitude. Everyone in my shop really appreciates everything that we receive and all the people who support us. The holiday season is especially hard for us and every package we receive always brightens our day. Again thank you for your support. Have a wonderful day.
SSgt Melissa Beard

I received the scarf that you sent me. It is very much appreciated especially around now. It is getting pretty chilly here and considering I’m from San Diego , CA , it is a bit of a change. So thank you very much for working so hard on that for me, it was very thoughtful! It really is a great thing and your hard work and definite support is clearly shown! Thank you once again for all you have done for us here and I hope you have a Merry Christmas and a great New Year!
Sincerely, Phil Skora

Hey, I'm currently over in Iraq and just wanted to say thank you for putting the hand-knit scarf in the "Operation Gratitude" box. It was a real pleasant surprise especially as it starts to get chilly here. Hope all is well in the states and we'll continue to do our best to serve all of you back at home!
LT Nachowicz

Thanks for sending a hand made scarf to Iraq. Thought you might want to know where it ended up. I work in one of Sadam's old palaces - Al Faw Palace, Baghdad, Iraq. Thanks again.
Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
God Bless,
Steve

Thank-you very much for the knitted scarf I received in a care package. I absolutely love it! I wear it to the restroom (yes we must travel outside to restrooms and showers) every night and keep it by my bed for in the morning. I appreciate the time and care you have given me and so many other Soldiers by this one simple act of love. I grew up in the South, so a knitted scarf reminds me of home and many fond memories.
Thanks again for your support and kindness....
1LT Pamela A. Sanders

I just wanted to say thank you very much for sending me that beautiful knitted scarf "with lots of love, and thanks". I just wanted let you know just how much I appreciate the time you took and effort to make the scarf. To be honest with you I've never had a scarf being that I'm a male, I never owned one. So I'm babbling here, I'm just coming of a night shift so I'm all so very tired and sleepy. Anyway once again thank you very much, and please extend my deepest gratitude to all the members that took time to put my care package together.
sincerely,
SGT Omar

Thank you very much!! This scarf will come in handy when I get back home. It is nice that people like yourself show support for us over here, It makes all the difference in the world. The Holidays can be a depressing time for service members, but you just made one smile! Thank you again.
Your friend, Dale

I am an Australian Army Officer posting with the US Army in Baghdad, Iraq. I was thrilled to receive the package from Operation Gratitude, and in particular the scarf that you made for me. The weather is (suprisingly) starting to cool down here, so it will be very handy for those long cold nights here. We all certainly appreciate your support and well wishes. It really helps us remember why we are here.
All the best for Christmas, and have a wonderful New Year.
Tony

I want to thank you for the box that was mailed to me. It lifted my spirits very much and thank you for caring enough to do that. Thank for the scarf that was in there. I have on my bed right now.
SPC(P)PHILLIPS,NICHOLAS

Thank you very much for the card and the hand-knit scarf. They arrived today in Baghdad, Iraq. If you can believe it, it does get cold here. The scarf will be great to wear back and forth to the showers. It is always a very rude awakening getting up early in the morning and walking outside to shave and get ready for the day. Thank you for your thoughtfulness. I have a beautiful wife and 4 kids at home. My three daughters all just started taking a knitting class. The scarf reminds me of them. Thank you again, and have a very Merry Christmas.
Faithfully serving,
LTC Kurt Schosek

I just received your care package. Thank you for your support! It’s really thoughtful of you and the wool cap is handy because it's getting pretty chilly lately over here. I shared my package with my soldiers and they are pretty happy. Appreciated the support once again and wish you have a best holiday season.
Sincerely, Sgt. Tran.

I was just writing to let you know that I'm very thankful for your knitted scarf. It's really nice and definitely useful. I appreciate all your support and your prayers. Thank You.
Sergeant Guadalupe Navarro

I received my care package today. I want to thank you for the support you have been giving to the troops. Your packages always come at the perfect time. Can you let everyone know that they have done a great job and their support is all appreciated! I love the scarf!! Thanks a bunch.
SSG D. W-R.

Received your hand knit scarf in a care package the other day! What a wonderful way to celebrate the Holidays. It will come in very handy as the cold weather comes in Iraq. I never would have believed it gets this cold. I will also use on the ski vacation my wife and I have planned for R&R leave. Your hard work is much appreciated and will be well used.
Thank you and Merry Christmas!
Jason Elbert

Please get all your hand-made items to me by December 30th! Send to:

Sharon Howard

May you have a lovely Christmas (you deserve it), and I will be in touch again after we finish the Holiday Drive!

You know how at the end of my show this week I got all choked up talking about how amazing it is to me that I get to hear from you all, it's like a "present under the Christmas tree of my soul?"  So then I open my e-mail and get this one:

It's great to hear you every week. Love the show I'm listening to your christmas show right now as I type up this email. I am looking forward to The big 80s very vj holiday special.  I just love it when all of you original (And the best there ever was) MTV vj's get together having you all on sirius is just so awesome. Well have a very Merry Christmas & Happy New year I'll be listening in the new year


Christopher (Washington State)

Thank you. I don't need a box or a ribbon or any scotch tape, that right there is a gift. 

If you live in Boston, Gainesville, Kansas City, Baltimore, Memphis, Denver, Albequerque, Tulsa, Cleveland, Houston, Sacramento, Charlotte, Salt Lake City, Toledo, St. Louis, Tampa, or Seattle...I hope you watch me on TV tomorrow morning! I'll be talking about how The 80's Game with Martha Quinn is available on Amazon, my show, Martha Quinn Presents..., and about how TiVo has hooked up with the Music Choice Network to make it so you can watch whatever videos you want, whenever you want, as much as you want. I have to go to sleep now 'cause I have to be at the studio in Hollywood before dawn. Wish me luck! 

xoxoxo, Martha 

I’m afraid (most of my thoughts start out that way) that if I died, one day my kids would say to each other, “It’s really for the best. Look how much cleaner our house is now.” 

Check, check, is this thing working? Hey everybody, I'm back in the saddle again! Because I had to EVACUATE my house last week, I had to just send my segments over to Jim Ryan at Sirius who put the show together from New York. That's weird for us 'cause normally my husband and I pour over every second of the show, but last week JR picked out the songs and I never updated my site with the list. But now our Radiobu studio is up and running again and we're back in the groove. Hope you enjoy. xoxoxo, Martha

I have a lump in my throat and my chest is all tight now. Why did I do that? Why did I have to enter "John Lennon's murder" into Google? I was looking up "What You Got" to see if it was 70's or 80's and that got me on a whole John Lennon Magical Mystery Tour winding up with shots of him dead. I was in NY at the time and it was traumatic. Uh-oh gotta go. Kid's calling. Talk Later, xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo, m

I’m getting ready to go pick up my brother-in-law, then come home and make a mean Tofurkey. I’m glad Cody’s coming because that makes  it more of a special family event. Growing up I was always around all my cousins, aunts and uncles, grand parents, brothers, dogs…it warmed me to the bone. They’re all still gathering in Troy, NY and I miss them! I never thought my life would be such that I moved far away from my family. I feel like that song in Fiddler On The Roof, “Far From The Home I Love” but as the song goes “…yet, here with my love, I’m home.” My husband and my two kids and my 3 dogs and 2 hermit crabs and 1 leopard gecko…I’m home!

So I’m off to get my kid’s uncle Cody, then at some point today I want to tell you about VAN HALEN AT THE STAPLES CENTER! I’ll just say this: it was better than I expected, not as good as I’d dreamed. More later!

I’m thankful for you, that you’re reading this…

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo, Martha

Unfortunately my hard drive is gone, dead, RIP. One day, while surfing around for the benefits of coconut oil, I got the spinning wheel of death that wouldn’t go away no matter what. When I finally managed to restart my computer I got a little flashing question mark. Just a little question mark, didn’t look sad or scared or menacing, just blinking. My husband was wise to this icon and he just kept saying, “You wrecked your hard drive!”  He has a tendency to dramatize so I didn’t take it too seriously until I googled “flashing question mark” and pretty much every site said, “You wrecked your hard drive.”

A new hard drive was installed, but I have my old one. If anybody out there has some insight on how to retrieve info from a corpse HD, let me know!

So one of the casualties is my poll question. I have no idea how to change it, all that info is kaput. And that’s a major drag because my daughter and I came up with an excellent one!

We heard that Britney Spears song, “Gimme More”, and were saying it’s so fascinating because she’s acting like she’s her regular superstar self, when everybody knows she’s gotten her kids taken away, she can’t see them without a monitor, she can’t even drive them anywhere. I said, “things have to be pretty bad for all that to happen. Michael Jackson never even got his kids taken away.” She was amazed. “Michael Jackson has kids? Boy, I feel bad for them.” 

Then we came up with this question: Who’s kids do you feel more sorry for? Michael Jackson’s or Britney Spears? I wish I could post it but if you want to send me an e, I’ll put them on my e-mails page. I’d be curious to see what you think! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my show this week, I’m definitely thankful that I get to be in touch with you all!

xoxoxoxo, Martha   

Hey! I just went to NYC so I couldn't write for a while. I love New York. Just driving in from the airport I swear my heart rate went up, my palms were literally sweaty. I swore I'd never ever ever leave the city. I used to look at people who lived anywhere else in the world and think, "what's the point?" But then I took a vacation to LA, met my husband, went home and packed up my Greenwich Village apartment. I was gone in weeks. But I was 26, it just seemed like a fun idea at the time. I didn't think I'd be there forever! 

So here we were, back in NYC. Went up to Sirius, saw the Duran Duran guys, who look amazing. Simon looks basically the same, and John Taylor is in the Joe Perry school of aging! Did a bit on Fox News with my old friend Toni Senecal who's the entertainment reporter. We asked New Yorkers on the street 80's trivia questions from The 80's Game with Martha Quinn. Our first guest was the Naked Cowboy! Only in New York. 

Jordan played a show with his old band, The Outta Place, on a bill with the legendary Sonics. It was awesome. He also saw Phil (Lesh from the Grateful Dead) and Friends. He said it was it really good, kinda like the real thing. And he should know, he's one of those guys who's seen the Grateful Dead like 80 times. Him and Mike Lookinland!!!

God! What a week! Did you hear the show? Did it sound ok? It was weird 'cause we didn't do it from home like we usually do. 

So that's what's been up!

xoxoxoxo,M

Right after I posted that last blog our internet went down and didn't come back for days! When I reconnected, I found so many of your kind e-mails, like these:

Date: October 22, 2007 5:21:56 AM PDT

To: Martha Quinn



I hope you and your family are doing OK.



The video on TV has been truly frightening, and I hope the fires stay well
away from your home.



Stay Safe,
William

****


Martha,
 


I read on your blog that the fires are close.  Are you and your family okay?  Did you have to evacuate?
 


Thanks for playing great music and always making me laugh on the weekends!
 


Lindsay


****



I hope this missive finds you and yours in good health and spirits. As soon as I heard the fires were near Malibu, I thought of you. 


I don't know you personally, but you have always held a special place in my heart. I made it through my final high school years and college watching you and the other Veejays during the 'Good Ole Days'of MTV. 
One Saturday a long time ago, a friend of mine called me, telling me that I just had my Trivia Question read on the air. I immediately thought of you, since you were always the veejay reading those. I was bummed to find out that my ? was actually read on air by Nina B, You were taking a rare day off. There was a part of me proud though. I thought to myself, Maybe Martha herself picked this one for Nina to read.?


Oh well, I never knew for sure. 


Enough of me. I just wanted to tell you that you and your family are being thought of and prayed for.



Take care of yourself!!!



Mark

****

Thank you so much. I feel blessed to be in your thoughts.

Love, Martha

The winds are gusting up to 65 miles per hour, and the Malibu fires have already destroyed 1,000 acres, Malibu Presbyterian Church, and a landmark home, the "Malibu Castle". More homes are being lost. We're just a few miles away. We're organizing in case we need to leave Malibu and head over to my cousin's in Pasadena. 

What do you take when you have to evacuate? You've seen it on the news, and probably rolled it around your head as a mental exercise, so here we are: what do you actually put in your car and drive away from your home with? Well, we've got food for the three dogs. The hermit crabs and lizard are all ready to go.

Next we need to get our passports and other critical papers.

My daughter and I want our computers. She for e-mails and Webkinz, me for...e-mails, the internet,  and you guys.  

My son packed his cars.

MTV memorabilia? I have a big box of MTV t-shirts, coffee mugs, other memorabilia from the early days. I've lugged that box around with me for years and years, but if it was engulfed by flames it'd be c'est la vie. If I had pictures from that time I'd surely grab them-me with David Lee Roth, Bob Dylan, Bono, Magic Johnson...but I lost those long ago before I cared about posterity. What an idiot. But if I had just one hand to grab something, I guess it'd be Pinchy, Sandy, and Bu anyway. Hermit crabs trump photos, no matter what they are.

Now that I'm thinking about it, I will try to bring some pictures of my family. One of my dad when he was a 20-year-old World War Two pilot. Wearing a leather helmet, he rescued downed soldiers off the coast of Japan. Picture of a 5-year-old Martha with her two brothers Dave and Chris. Photo of Dave and Chris with two Quinn German Shepherds. One of my great-grandmother. What is it with photos? If I don't grab that picture of Sarah May Conrad Quinn, the universe will lose the last image of that life.  

It's 11:11am. Looks like the fires are settling down. I'll keep you posted.  Here are two local sites for coverage if you want to check it out.

xoxoxoxoxoxo, Martha

http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/front 

http://www.myfoxla.com/myfox/pages/News/Detail?contentId=4698476&version=14&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=3.2.1

Happy Birthday Mark Goodman!!! I don't know how old he is exactly, I just know he's older than me-thank god.  On my show this week I spoke a little bit about how, in the early days of MTV, we five original VJ’s would all cram into a sub-compact rent-a-car and drive out to New Jersey to see the concerts at Brendan Byrne Arena, now the “Izod” Center. That was such a great time, and it was those experiences that bonded the five of us together forever.

Exciting news! It looks like The 80’s Game with Martha Quinn is going retail! Right now it’s a downloadable game, check it out at the80sgamewithmarthaquinn.com. Downloadables are the ultimate in immediate gratification, I mean, what if you get a hankerin’ for some 80’s trivia at 10pm when Target or BestBuy is closed? A-Ha! With downloadable games you’re moments away from playing 24/7. But I admit it is hard to put a downloadable game under the Christmas tree, so now you’ll be able to buy something to wrap up!!!

So I’ve been featuring trivia on my shows. This week’s question: What 80’s television series lasted only 14 episodes, but has been called one of the most innovative science fiction series ever produced for American television. I’ll give you a hint: CYBERPUNK. OK how ‘bout this: Matt Frewer. OK how about The Art of Noise? While some of you may be saying, “what is she talking about?” for 80’s triviots this one’s a snap:  Listen to my show for the answer!

xoxoxo, Martha

Ms. Pac Man, there's a new kid in town...Martha Quinn! If you know: both actors in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, which paper towel was "the quicker picker upper", and what movie featured Michael Sembello's "Maniac",* you are the perfect player for... THE 80'S GAME WITH MARTHA QUINN.

My 80's trivia game is downloadable, all you do is go to the80sgamewithmarthaquinn.com and you can try it out. Hey Rio, there's over 3,000 trivia questions to keep you dancing on the sand!

Here's a like, totally awesome description I found at Gametunnel.com:

Prepare yourself for a most excellent trivia experience with the totally tubular 80's Game With Martha Quinn! There are more than 3000 gnarly questions that will take you on a fun trip to the decade of hair bands, Miami Vice and leg warmers! Choose your favorite 80's character icon and play Challenge, Episodes, Free Play or Versus Mode! Collect cool 80's gear for great plays! (Can you win the Delorean?) The 80's Game With Martha Quinn...yeah, that's the ticket!

Thanks, Gametunnel!

So if you want to check it out, u can go to the80sgamewithmarthaquinn.com, or do a google search for Martha Quinn 80's game and zillions of sites come up that have the game available for you to download.

Keanu Reeves AND Alex Winter. Rosie told us all that BOUNTY was the quicker picker upper! "Maniac" was featured in FLASHDANCE. 

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo, Martha

Howdy Strangers!

Now that the fall is officially underway I'm getting back into my old routines, including tending to my website. Finished my summer with a trip to Puerto Rico which was muy bonito. I'm determined to learn spanish, and David Lee Roth has inspired me, as you'll hear in this week's show.

Here's what my day looked like today:

Woke up, got out of bed, dragged a comb across my head. ha ha ha (Sgt Pepper's reference)

Seriously. I woke up with an itchy ankle. Didn't see any bites or anything, (with the menagerie we've got going here it would not be at all surprising if I had a flea bite) but I couldn't stop scratching. Put anti-itch cream on and it stung like a mo fo! 

Even though I totally wanted to go back to bed after I made breakfast, I forced myself to go to Pilates. I haven't gone all summer so my body was like, "What in the world are you doing? Stop the insanity!" My teacher was giving me all kinds of corrections but it was hard for me to concentrate since by then I was consumed with fear that my itchy ankle was being caused by the flesh-eating virus. I'm afraid to google "flesh-eating virus" 'cause I'm dreading that it'll describe my exact symptoms. You think I'm kidding but I have a knot in my stomach.

I'm also so tired today! My husband was talking to me about what color we should paint our studio and all I could think was how much I couldn't wait to finish our convo so I could go to sleep. Probably a sure-fire sign of flesh-eating virus!

So there you have it. See? I'm not always perky, sometimes I'm pure Goth!  

xoxoxoxoxo, Martha

I hate when that happens! I was previewing this week's show with a girlfriend of mine when my bit about Bono and Nelson Mandela "spreelunking" came up. Alice says to me, "Isn't it spelunking?" No, no, no, I assured her it was indeed spreelunking. "My dear Alice, I used to think it was spelunking, but I did a cave bit once before and discovered the correct spelling was spreelunking. Here, I'll show you." Grab laptop, fire up Google, enter spreelunking, and get only 3 results. Uh-oh. Heart in my throat I try spelunking. Farts! Farts on a stick! So when you hear me talk about Bono and Nelson Mandela spreelunking, know three things: 1) It's spelunking 2) spelunkers explore caves, and 3) I am not smarter than a fourth grader! 

xoxoxoxo, Martha 

If you've visited marthaquinnpresents.com before, you may have seen my writings about ummm...facial rejuvenation. I'd almost abandoned the project but Monya in New Jersey wrote, "What happened with the cosmetic work thread?!  What happened?  Were you happy?  I think your dilemma is something that a lot of aging people struggle with and I wanna hear what happened," so I continued my face-umentary. 

Tonight, at 11:17pm, I'm posting the next installment.

When I last left off, I was sitting in the red-leather antique dentist's chair, telling the doctor, who I'll call Dr. B (for Botox) my whole story. You know, the whole photo shoot coming up, want to look good for the camera, feel responsible to the company, yet at the same time I'm the hippie girl who always swore I'd age naturally. 

I'm guessing Dr. B had heard the "I'm a natural gal" bit before, because he had a speech all buckled up and ready for take-off. "If you bought a Victorian home and painstakingly restored it to it's former glory, people would applaud you. If you re-built a 1967 Mustang, strangers would stop you in the street and congratulate you. Why wouldn't we care for our own appearance like we would a car?"

Two Marthas responded to this reasoning. Malibu Martha thought, "That's an excellent point. What' so bad about restoring me to my former glory?" Manhattan Martha thought, "Yeah right. Where'd you get that rap from, the Botox conference? The one where the company flew their top pushers to Acapulco for a week of Tequila, hookers, and blow?"

The words, however, that left my mouth were, "OK. If I just walked in here and said, 'Here's my face, what should I do?' what would you recommend?" Dr. B gave me a once-over, and announced my prescription. Microdermabrasion to brighten up my complexion, and Vstar laser for a few spider veins, and to "re-invigorate" my skin's collagen production. His list continued. Botox for the creases in my forehead and the fine lines around my eyes, and Restylane, a collagen-like filler, for the "marionette" lines, (the ones that go from the sides of your nose down to the sides of your mouth) and for the vertical lines that are starting to sprout from my lips. 

It's funny, my grand-mother, Marmie, had those exact same lines, and I never once thought, "Boy, Marmie would look so much better if she didn't have those lip lines." It never even occurred to me. As far as I was concerned she was the coolest grandmother around. She'd been a flapper in the Roaring 20's, lived in Greenwich Village, and had a job at Butterick's designing dress patterns. When she married my Grandfather, Marmie moved upstate and became a woman who could make any vegetable grow and could sew anything from evening gowns to doll pajamas. In her 70's, she took up painting modern art.  I loved her completely and always thought she looked fantastic.

Why am I approaching aging differently? First of all, the hugely popular tabloid media supplies a never-ending parade of beach-bodied young stars who are constant reminders to the rest of us that we don't look like them. The only time gossip magazines show "regular" looking celebs is under gleeful headlines like,  "Elizabeth Hurley's cellulite!" Secondly, cosmetic procedures are so easily available these days, they're almost impossible to resist.  The ready antidote for the insecurity that being clobbered by perfection causes. 

So here I am. Sitting in the office of the dermatologist endorsed by my plumber. I've given in to temptation. My granola consciousness was overpowered by my desire to appear as though collagen was running rampant through my epidermis.  I felt a little queasy compromising my organic values, but it calmed my nerves to remind myself that Botox and Restylane are temporary, so there's no harm in trying them out. Plus, I was so curious! What would I look like? Was it possible that I was just minutes away from looking years younger? Maybe I'd look like Courtney Cox, Heather Locklear, Paris...no.  Even in my intoxicated state I knew to keep my sights on the over 30 crowd! 

As the doctor plastered my face with numbing cream, I had that excited anticipation Geraldo Rivera must have felt when he was just about to open Al Capone's secret vault on live television.  I couldn't wait to get started.  

To be continued!

xoxoxoxo, Martha

Jeff Foxworthy: Martha, you know what you’ve got to do…

Martha: I should have known that one!

Jeff Foxworthy: You’ll feel better once you say it…

Martha: I am not smarter than a FOURTH grader!

One subject they go over and over in 4th grade is state abbreviations. You know, NY, New York. TX, Texas. MT, Montana. 

At 3:33am, I found myself mulling over MS, Missouri. All of a sudden that didn’t seem right. That had to be right, what else could MS be? Unless…it…was…oh no! Mississippi! 

So when you hear me read an e-mail from Michael in Missouri, please know a) it’s Mississippi, and b) I am not smarter than a fourth grader!!!

Xoxoxoxo, Martha

Yeay, I'm back up, I was freaking out all weekend! Perfect time for a snafu-Saturday and Sunday when my shows are airing and every other minute I'm saying, "For a complete list of today's songs go to marthaquinnpresents.com!" For future reference, you can also access my site via marthaquinnonline.com!

"No way, you're joking," is what I kept saying this morning when my husband told me about Lindsay Lohan. Sad. Boy, Promises re-hab must be excited.  The whole world knows she was there for an extended stay. It's probably more that she was an accident waiting to happen, but it's sure not the greatest  advertisement for their program.

My kids are waiting for me to get them to bed, but I just had to write and say I'm so glad we're back!

I received two "What was the name of that song?" e-mails recently, and that got me into a trivia mood. So my whole show this week is trivia questions. My favorite one, 'cause I'm an ex-New Yorker, is about the 1986 World Series. The Mets beat out the Red Sox for the championship and New York went absolutely bonkers. Everyone was throwing little bits of newspaper out of their windows, creating a blizzard of joy. I said to my neighbor, "Come on, we've got to throw some newspaper out the window!" He did the funniest thing, definitely one of my top ten life's funniest moments, he grabbed a Sunday New York Times and said, "You mean like this?" and he chucked the entire thing out the window. It still cracks me up. Of course, we probably sent some reveler to the hospital with a concussion but, hey...LET'S GO METS!

I was trying to find footage of that crucial game 6 (I don't want to give it away!) and I came upon a re-enactment of that most heart-stopping 8 minutes...done a la RBI Baseball, that Nintendo game. It's so great, you can just tell it's a labor of love for Mr. Sandiegoserenade. I posted it so you can check it out.

Thanks Brad and TL for inspiring this week's show! 

So...what's the deal with the Beckhams and why are they taking up my Star/Us/In Touch magazine space?  

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo, Martha 

I hope everybody had a great 4th! Out here in Malibu I've been working on the continuation of journey into the forbidden land of "facial rejuvenation." Cue the Psycho strings!!! Here's where I left off:   

Every one here is nice, but I'm not witty and chatty like I was on the phone yesterday, I'm actually nauseous. My hands are sweaty. Crap. I shoulda called Mr. Plumber-man and made him swear on a stack of bibles Jennifer Anniston really was here at this doctor's. There's a space on the patient form that asks, "Is there anything else we should know before we begin treating you?" I write down, "I'm a nervous nelly." Oh no here comes the Doc. Oh god. Wish me luck. Good-bye friends. I'll write after! 

I dedicate this continuation to Monya. 

Oh friends. Before I confess what just occured, before you lose all respect for me, allow me put forth my defense: I swear they have some sort of hidden device that sucks the oxygen out of the office, making you get light-headed so you can't make a rational decision. It wasn't my fault! I became hypnotized by with the prospect of stimulated collagen! Improved facial clarity! Youthful, radiant skin! 

The plot unfolds during the "tour of the office." A better name for the "tour" would be..."The mother of all sales pitches." Each gizmo or procedure the doctor showed me had the sole purpose of bringing me closer to looking like Courtney Cox, Heather Locklear, Pam Anderson! Who knew all these lasers and diamond-encrusted scrapers existed? Where had they been all my life? (See the effects of the oxygen-depravation?) Before I even reached the doctor's office, I'd signed up for three treatments: 

1. Microdermabrasion-it leaves you skin "glowing, healthy, and ready for treatment." Treatment? What treatment? Oh well, microdermabrasion really works best with the...  
2. VStar Laser, a "safe, easy, and quick way to treat imperfections in the skin caused by aging and sun damage. Decreases fine lines and wrinkles, refines and tones the texture of your skin!" For God's sake, who can resist that! Since I was on a roll, I signed up for...  
3. Vela Smooth. You know, to help achieve a smooth appearance in problem cellulite areas-aaaagh!

Giddy with the idea of a Star Magazine-worthy me, our tour concluded at the doctor's office. This is the Medical Zone. This is where "injectables" like Restylane and Botox happen, and now we're talkin' turkey. Now we're talkin' the big guns. "Surrender, wrinkles, or we'll shoot!" 

I'll tell you what happened in the doctor's office in the next installment. Soon, I promise!  

xoxoxo, Martha

p.s. Anybody else glued to the Flintstones marathon on Boomerang?